Mary Sue VS Self Insertion
by Earthen Pyre
Summary: [one shot] Whenever Mary Sue comes around, no one is happy. She claims to be better than S.I...but she isn't. Sue Bashing.


**Mary Sue VS Self-Insertion**

By Jessica the Hanyou

**Rating:** T for…SWEARING…SUE-BASHING…

**Summary**: (one shot) Everyone hates a Mary-Sue story, including the IY gang. She gets whomever she wants and is loved by everyone. This unfortunately leads most to hate most OC characters and Self-Insertions. This can really get on some people's nerves, including me. Prepare for Sue-Bashing!

Okay, I know, I know. Some of you say that Self-Insertion characters and Mary-Sues are the same things. I'm not defending my character; this has been my opinion for a long time. This is also a comparison between the two 'species' of characters. Well, I've made up a Mary-Sue for this story named 'Bikei'. Now, if you like Mary-Sues, don't read Sue-bash fics. Please.

**BEGIN STORY**

The Inu-Gumi was having a regular day. The serene path was like many that they had passed before, and there hadn't been a youkai in sight. It seemed to be so perfect, nothing would stop them from enjoying the grassy scenery around them, the butterflies fluttering, the birds chirping…you get the point.

"Hey, Jessica, have you ever considered yourself a…Mary-Sue?" Shippou, the fox child asked the girl from his perch on Kagome's shoulder.

The girl gasped. "No…never! I'm no Mary-Sue!"

Shippou looked at the girl awkwardly, hopping onto her shoulder and observing her. She was decently pretty; not a beauty as Miroku called some women. Her brown hair was unkempt and went down to about her butt. She had two dog-like ears, which were too long for her head and heavily furred, making them flop over in a comical style. Jessica even had a fox like tail, also messy with a salmon pink tip. The hanyou girl had huge lotus green eyes giving her the childish look for her age. Jessica's form was human enough, being a hanyou.

Inuyasha's voice broke into Shippou's comparison. "Hey, pup, how do you know if you're not a Mary-Sue?"

Jessica looked up at the inu-hanyou, completely offended by the comment. "Don't call me a pup! And I'm no Mary-Sue!"

At that very second, out of nowhere, a woman's form appeared in a flash of light, about ten meters away from the startled group. The woman was exquisite, with a heavenly, flawless form with flowing, clean violet hair that draped to her perfect hips. The teenage girl had soulful indigo eyes that had a soft glow at all times. She could hypnotize people with them. The unknown form was wearing princesses' kimono, which shared the purple hue with her eyes and had a silver dragon pattern flowing around it. With her, Bikei carried a sword that carried magical powers that surpassed all from her land. Bikei was an amazing creature, an inugami, part angel, part miko. She was also heiress to the northern lands and was known amongst her people to be the reincarnation of Midoriko, which made absolutely no sense because almost all of the great miko's soul had been transferred into the Shikon no Tama.

"Who's that?" Kagome asked, looking to see one of the worst things that she may lay her eyes on in her life.

"Greetings," Bikei spoke in a soft yet powerful voice that could captivate a weak soul in an instant. Her shining, violet hair swayed with her hips as she floated towards the group. "I am Bikei-Hime, princess of the Northern Lands. I have come here using my power of transportation to find allies to defeat Naraku, who killed my parents,"

Everyone was silent (Miroku was drooling), until Sango spoke up (Miroku is STILL drooling…). "Wouldn't you be Lady of the Northern Lands if your parents were killed?"

"Never mind that…" Bikei stopped at the beginning of her speech, when she noticed the fox-dog hanyou. She immediately became enraged, drawing the sword made of pure gold at her side, her hair thrashing around in a swirl. "YOU! You are _SELF-INSERTION_! The insignificant, weaker creature that authors have thought up in their little heads!"

"Wh-AHHH!" The girl was cut off, when she felt the force on Bikei's blade…to find that the sword simply bent on contact! Jessica grinned in a goofy fashion. "Sorry…what was your name? Oh yes, Baka! Baka, gold is one of the softest metals, and when you got in fashioned into that nifty sword, it weakened the metal considerably. You would have been better off making it into a few coins for some pocket cash."

"My name is not Baka! It is Bikei!" Ba—er…Bikei corrected angrily. She rushed forward and prepared to strike with her claws, her overly described hair flowing behind her.

"DIE BITCH!" Inuyasha yelled as he brought Tetsusaiga down on the inu-angel-miko-thingy. Blood spattered from the shoulder, but the wound healed instantly. Inuyasha looked on with utter surprise.

"Immortal," was all Bikei said with a smug zest.

"If you are immortal, how did Naraku kill your parents? You must have gotten the gene from one of them," Miroku pondered, out loud. This caused Bikei to blush.

"That's it! I'm going to do what all my kind can do to the opposite gender!" The Mary-Sue screeched, her eyes glowing furiously. She stared at the group, and the males were suddenly infatuated. Before any could approach though, it began to rain and 'Bikei-Hime' melted into a puddle of goop, with a final screech of, "I'M MELTING!"

"What the hell just happened?" Inuyasha asked no one.

"We were attacked by Mary-Sue, who took the form of some _creature_," Kagome sighed, looking at the purple goop on the ground.

"I thought she was immortal though!" Shippou squeaked, coming out from behind Kagome's hair.

"Weird, maybe there's some force out there…a godly-anti-Mary-Sue-army!" Jessica suggested.

"That makes sense," Sango thought out loud. "But, why an army?"

"I dunno," Jessica yawned, not regarding the question.

"Well, there are some things people who create characters like this should know," Kagome began to explain, clearing her throat. She pulled out a book labeled in bold, black letters, '_How to Vanquish a Mary-Sue_'. She began to read out the list.

"One: Mary-Sue has come in many shapes in forms. They all possess one common attribute, though. Each one is better than other characters in some over-exaggerated way, almost always being annoyingly perfect. Mary-Sue will always leave when the author who let her into the dimension takes away some, if not all of her perfection."

Sango broke in, reading the next part of the list.

"Two: Mary-Sue has a strange power that lets her take over many unsuspecting characters' minds. She makes the victim story non-canon by falling for whomever she wants, and getting the most desirable characters to love her, using some unknown power. This is also within the author's power to get rid of this problem, by making her love an OC, or better yet, not let her fall in love at all."

Miroku followed suit, taking the book into his own hands and reading the next part.

"Three: Whenever Mary-Sue comes into the picture, she always manages to persuade the victim author into describing her much more than the other characters, usually the main point being her 'pretty' hair. The author must keep all characters in a story equally described, and if he or she doesn't do this, their character is a very likely candidate for actually being Mary-Sue in some disguise."

The young kitsune jumped off of Kagome's shoulder, over to Miroku's and read out the following:

"Four: Mary-Sue can be whomever she wants, whenever she wants. One second she is a tai-youkai, the next she manages to become some intergalactic fairy from Jupiter, chasing down the main villain. She is always changing, to become more powerful, to fit the situation and be the center of attention. This goes the same for her personality. To free your character from this fate, keep to the topic and don't go off giving her what you think is cool, and add more powers to fit the moment. "

Jessica walked over to Shippou quietly, snatching the book and reading aloud to the others.

"Five: Mary-Sue is not to be mistaken for a Self-Insertion character.

Unfortunately, she sometimes can possess an S.I, and the author may have to save their character. There are subtle differences between the two, so don't give your character more than he or she needs. If you do give too much in powers, looks and abilities, Mary-Sue can easily possess your character."

Inuyasha forcefully grabbed the book from the fox-dog, giving her a punch to the head in the process. He began to recite the contents of the book.

"Six: If you find unwanted crossovers in your Fan Fiction, it may be because Mary-Sue has made it into your story. She has a habit of creating plot-holes wherever she goes. To avoid this problem, let your friends look over your character. If they say it is flawless, most likely you may need to tweak your character. They cannot be from more than one universe at once. For example, don't make your character a Sayin who has come to help stop Naraku from getting all the Shikon Shards, and then reveal that your character also has the power to summon monsters from cards, and is an immortal fairy in the process as well. If you follow this list, you may be able to fix your character up a bit."

"You know," Jessica growled, nursing the lump on her head. "It's people like Mary-Sue who give original characters like me a bad name."

"Yeah, maybe I should go and get a Slaying mission to exterminate that…monster, Mary Sue!" Sango suggested, the thought hitting her like how Inuyasha strikes Shippou.

"Good idea!" Jessica exclaimed happily, until noticing the bold print on the bottom of the page. "WHAT? Mary-Sue goes through REBIRTH?"

"Well that sucks," Shippou sighed, shuddering at the thought of Bikei returning from the purple goop.

"We had might as well try to get rid of her anyway," Miroku broke in. Such a beautiful woman, but so evil. She had to go.

The whole group lit up at the thought of Mary-Sue's brutal murder.

* * *

In a far off place, the assembled group of authors and authoresses looked down at the small, ugly, worm like creature below them. This creature was known as Mary-Sue.

"What do you think you're doing Mary-Sue?" One hissed, his foot poised to come crashing down on the stupid creature.

"I…I was only trying to be loved!" Mary-Sue squeaked, mock sadness in her voice.

"Wrong answer," The author growled, about to stomp on the creature, when an authoress grabbed his arm.

"No! She will only escape into another universe!" The authoress protested, not letting go of the firm hold on her friends' arm.

"Fine," He growled, sitting down and typing something into the laptop her held.

A case appeared around the worm. "We'll hold you here…"

"…" Mary-Sue was silent as the group left her in the prison. "Fools,"

Mary-Sue had just escaped.

**END STORY**

Unfortunate ending huh? Well, you can flame me all you want; this is the truth I believe in! Now, give your opinion! I only use flames to roast marshmallows and keep myself warm while camping!

Ja Ne,

Jessica


End file.
